Happy Valentines Day

At times I feel like I'm in this fight alone. Some days, I can feel myself dangling on the edge. Many times I alienate myself from the world because the pain is too great to deal with. But no matter how hard I try and shut people out, there are those that insist on pushing their way through. It's nice to know that I won't be abandoned, even though that's what I would like at times. I don't want to pull anyone down to the depths that I find myself at. Exactly two weeks from today will be Kayla's first death anniversary. I don't have any words to express what the day means to me. I'm frozen with grief and fear to even feel anything. I'm living in this ice cube that is keeping me numb. I know that it's going to shatter to pieces once I hit the ground.

Rescue Me – Krystal Meyers

Swallowing this hurt

Making it lie down

I'm my strongest ally, living life as I know how

I'm carrying the weight of a world that sold me out

I'm running with my eyes closed

Hoping you don't see this doubt

I'm lost for words

I'm at a loss to tell you what I need

I know there's something more

God, help me to believe

And all this time

I thought the fight

The fight was only mine

I need to let you rescue me

I'm taking fire

I'm feeling tired

I'm tired of this fight

I need to let you rescue me

I let it go to breathe

I can't take it anymore

I refuse to wake up one more time bleeding on the floor

I won't let myself hold back

I'll surrender what's inside

You become my healing tourniquet

So I can feel alive

I feel so exposed

I'm afraid to lose total control

With nothing left to hold

You reach for me and wouldn't let me go

And all this time

I thought the fight

The fight was only mine

I need to let you rescue me

I'm taking fire

I'm feeling tired

I'm tired of this fight

I need to let you rescue me