Ask me no questions, and I'll tell you no lies

"How's it going?" That seems to come out of every one's mouth. But I wonder if they really want to know. I don't think so. The same goes for family members. They don't want to hear that you're in constant pain and don't know how to move forward. They don't want to know that you think about death on a daily basis. Because once you let any of that information leak out, they all panic and want to send you to the shrink immediately...as long as they don't have to deal with your problems. Or they can alienate you. I definitely prefer the latter. I'm the queen of Alien-Nation! But I'm finding out that being a citizen of that country can also be scary at times. I'll be crawling through the trenches or walking down a dark alley of depression and feel that I have been abandoned. What can you expect? I've become a downer and hard to live with...so naturally, no one wants to hang around anymore. It becomes a vicious downward spiral. Weariness/fear of being alone causes careless communication. After being isolated within myself, I can't help but dump out all my emotions. Then there it is...a big pile of stinking shit. It stinks to bad that it drives people away and you find that maybe you're better off containing your shit. You end up being deported back to Alien-Nation. How much longer can a person tolerate being exiled?