What's my problem?

Everytime I walk into work I think, "I want to kill myself". I don't know what my problem is. It's just a fucking job. Why do these sickening feelings stir when I drive up to the lot? Then when I step into the office, those words are screaming in my head. I'm such a freak. What's so horrible here? And yet I feel that I would have a mental breakdown from working. If I didn't have Troy, I would probably end up like those mentally ill homeless people out on the sidewalk. The majority of our society can go to work, even hate it their jobs and not be as pathetic as me.