Trapped

Society continues to move forward as I'm stuck in my world, a world that is full of the pain inside me. I can't escape the day that Kayla died. Everything I do, think or say is because of her death. I will never move on or get over it. People may have a hard time dealing with my pain and may have the best intentions when they give "advice". I would rather they not say anything than clumsy words of comfort. It only draws my attention to the fact that I am not a part of their world...that I am trapped in my grief stricken world. We are all given the right to pursue happiness. That right was stripped away from me on 2/28/2006. I will never be completely happy in this life. This is not taking anything away from my wonderful husband and daughter. This is merely a reflection of my inadequate spirit. But I will continue to struggle to survive for my husband and daughter. My biggest fear is that the fight will leave and I will ruin them.

Struggle

An abyss of emptiness stares out

Leviathans hunting any forms of life

Choking out chances of growth

Only darkness can be seen

The pressure of this reality

Causes the soul to implode

Surfacing is inconceivable

Sustainability limited

Death eventually takes hold

Finally I have surfaced

sjj - 1/21/2008